by Mico Subosa
“So, Ms. Darna***, why don’t you tell me about your strengths and weaknesses?”
Well, obviously this interviewer doesn’t watch the news, Darna thought. Who doesn’t know what Darna’s strengths are? She had a whole roster of strengths to enumerate – she could lift elephants with her pinkie, she could run from Quiapo to Magallanes in a minute or two, and most importantly, she could fly, which meant she won’t ever have to be stuck in 9 a.m. Makati traffic, and thus, will never be late. That was easy for her. But weaknesses? She wasn’t like Superman who’d wilt away in the mere sight of Kryptonite, or Spider-Man, whose weakness was his own emotional insecurity; she was literally invincible.
But of course she couldn’t say she didn’t have weaknesses. She’d read somewhere on the Internet to never say you don’t have weaknesses. That would sound arrogant.
“Well, to start on a positive note, let me tell you about my strengths. Or to be more accurate, maybe… my super-strengths.” She eased in a chuckle. She’d also read somewhere that a little humor during an interview shows personality, and HR reps love people with personality. She ran down her list of super-strengths.
“As for my weakness, I find it hard to multi-task. I get lost in all the things I have to do—doing the dishes, taking care of laundry, keeping my kids in check, saving the world.” She remembered reading, always follow up a weakness with an action to improve.
“Which is why I’ve begun keeping a planner. That way I can keep track of what I’ve done and what still needs to be done.” Nailed it.
The interviewer stole a glance at the wall clock. Were they going over schedule? Have they been talking for that long already?
“Well, Ms. Darna, that about covers everything I want to talk about. Do you have anything you want to ask me?”
She didn’t have questions. To be honest, she really wasn’t interested in this job. She’d be perfectly content with her current job – saving San Martin from Medusa’s Filipina relative or beefed-up women who come from outer space – if only it paid her more than domestic fame and the occasional Startalk guesting. She had mouths to feed, however, and unfortunately, not everyone can survive on a diet of magic pebble.
She wore her prettiest smile. This was the fifth time this week that she’d shed her signature stars and loincloth for an Oxford shirt and a pencil skirt.
“What is the company culture like?” A LinkedIn influencer said that that was a “smart” question.
The HR rep went on about how dynamic and entrepreneurial their company was, and how people constantly collaborate, and how they compete with themselves and not anyone else, and how their people always seek a higher purpose in what they do. The HR rep loved that about the company. Darna just kept nodding.
“Anything else?” Darna shook her head, the same smile plastered.
“No? Great! Okay then, we’ll call you.”
***NOTE (to non-Filipino readers): Darna is a Filipino comic-book superhero first conceived by Mars Ravelo. Her alter-ego is Narda, a regular woman who transforms by swallowing an enchanted white stone. Below is an image of Darna, drawn by Ryan Orosco: